Written by Vayne Bainbridge
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Topics: Hollywood, Zombies

Sunday, 12 April 2009

Woody Harrelson just finished a movie called "Zombieland" in which he was constantly under attack by Zombies. It's an eerie parallel to his real life where the mindless anti-hemp crowd has been stalking him relentlessly.

It all came to a head in an airport in New York on Wednesday when he attacked what he said was, "A zombie camera that just wouldn't stay dead and, um, I think there was a dude there too."

Mr. Harrelson tried everything to kill the zombie camera, from slapping it around to trying to smash the lens. Eventually he succeeded, but before he could relax, another, smaller, zombie camera appeared.

"I didn't know what to do, you know? I finally managed to destroy that damn zombie camera, but then another one appears out of nowhere! It was like that dude that was following me had a bunch of the little suckers in his bag or something. That's just [BLEEP] up, man." Mr. Harrelson told us between drags off the paramedics' oxygen mask.

The United States Army arrived on the scene shortly after the confrontation and is now investigating the alleged zombie cameras for infection. The airport has been quarantined.

Mr. Harrelson's new film, "Zombieland", is about a horde of Minolta cameras that come back from the dead to feed on other cameras. No release date has been announced.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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