Written by Dungeekin
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Friday, 10 April 2009

X-Men: Origins star Hugh Jackman has added his voice to the growing calls for the return of capital punishment.

The actor, who plays Wolverine in the upcoming movie, attacked 'the growing wave of serious crime' across the globe, and said that a return to the death penalty was the only way to provide an effective deterrent.

Speaking from his hospital bed, where he is being treated for uncontrollable grief following the leaking of his latest film, Jackman said, "the state I'm in is the human cost of piracy. Downloading and copying movies is a crime against humanity - it's the entertainment equivalent of genocide, and it must be stopped. I am campaigning for movie pirates to be tried by the International Criminal Court, and to be subject to death by hanging upon conviction. It's the only way to deal with this vicious, brutal crime".

The illegal leakage of a rough copy of X-Men: Origins is currently being investigated by the FBI, who have no been joined by a UN war-crimes delegation. A trial judge has been appointed at the ICC in The Hague.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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