Written by Jalapenoman
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Thursday, 9 April 2009

image for Cruise and Travolta Signed for Butch and Sundance Remake
Cruise and Travolta will have to be introduced to these

Tom Cruise and John Travolta are trying to be the next Robert Redford and Paul Newman. The pair have signed on for the remake of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Cruise will play the role of Sundance, played by Redford in the original picture, while Travolta will take on Newman's Cassidy part.

In the film from the late 1960's and in history, the duo operated out of Utah as part of the Hole in the Wall gang and robbed trains, stagecoaches, and banks. In this film, they will not operate out of Utah (too many Mormons for the tastes of the two Scientologists). They will, instead, operate out of Tilden, Nebraska (birthplace of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard).

Moneys that they get from their robbing will not go towards supporting their hedonistic lifestyle. Instead, Butch and Sundance will give their money to a fictional "Church of Dianetics."

After the release of this movie, the two will star in a remake of another Redford-Newman film, The Sting. In this one, the money that they scam from Doyle Lonnigan will be used to pay for the education of a "young relative named Lafayette Ronald Hubbard."

Travolta said that "this is going to be easy, because I already rode a mechanical bull and dressed up in levis and boots in Urban Cowboy."

Paul Newman has already rolled over in his grave and Redford has announced that "neither of those atrocities will be permitted at my Sundance film festival."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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