Written by P.M. Wortham
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Topics: Movies, Women

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

image for Women Speak Out Against "Fast and Furious" Movie
The classic car chase: For Men Only

Following the unanticipated success of yet another testosterone-driven, never-ending car chase movie, women are objecting to the side effects experienced after the movie's viewing. What apparently started as an amicable and routine movie genre trade on "date-night", exploded into a concerning trend of reportedly unsatisfied women the morning after.

Betty Kantlik from the Chicago suburb of Westchester told reporters, "It was like my boyfriend took the movie title literally. I barely had time to unhook my bra and it was over. The bastard had the nerve to ask me if it was good for me."

Other women in cities where the movie was released had similar comments. "We did the movie night trade as usual. Last week I picked a romantic comedy, this week he picked Fast and Furious. I'd say that any review I might give the movie now would be, in a word, premature."

Kantlik added, "If I wanted fast and furious results from my boyfriend, I'd send him home with a porn CD and a box of tissues. SLOW DOWN or go home alone with Miss Michigan."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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