Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 26 March 2009

image for Fern Britton Leaves Show After Row About Her Knickers
Fern squeezes another one out

Fern Britton, the overweight This Morning presenter has left the show after a rift with co-presenter, Philip Schofield, over her underwear.

Britton, who only last week tipped the scales at a whopping 23 stone, fell into dispute with Schofield over her crusty undergarments which, he alleged, she hasn't changed for 10 years.

Britton said that the two were still friends, but admitted the claims about her pants, saying:

"Ten years is a long time on any show, and I'm ready for a change."

The star will present her last show on 17 July. She claimed her disagreement with her co-presenter wasn't enough to split them up, and said she next planned to "build a vegetable plot in the autumn".

Schofield, who is a bit of a grinning fool, said it was appropriate that Britton was to be involved with vegetables, explaining:

"For a long time, I didn't mind, but just recently, she's also developed really bad flatulence. In fact, now I think of it, her farts smell like turnips."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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