Written by Maynard Collington
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Tuesday, 24 March 2009

image for Lohans Va-Jay-Jay breaks silence
It's down there, boys

(West Hollywood): Long missing from the tabloids, La-Lohan's vagina is ready to mount a comeback.

Kitty - formerly known as fire crotch - wants to prove she is ready to work. Often seen at night club openings and dining hot-spots, the troubled starlet is back from rehab and ready to make a fresh start.

"I am really open to anything at this point. You know, I've been thinking outside the box as far as my career is concerned. I just want to meet some new faces and have a good time. I just wish people would stop talking about the stuff around me, and focus more on what I can do. I am talented - I have depth!"

A close friend in the music business had some words of encouragement: "Oh she can totally do it y'all. Once she starts hitting the pavement - she will be working three weeks a month- no problem. Look at me I'm back on tour and loving it, life is just a big circus!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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