Written by Atticus Finch
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Topics: God, Elton John

Friday, 20 March 2009

image for Elton John Declares Himself A God
A Baboon Guards The Temple Of Elton John - Why? We Don't Know

Bald Headed singer Elton John, best known for his tantrums and hatred of blind people, has declared himself a God, and has built a temple, devoted to himself, in the Indian Town of Chandigarh - another is planned for Tooting.

John, best known for his big glasses and hatred of bee keepers, says that he hopes his new status as a God will stop fans, who he hates, from pestering him.

John, best known for bathing in goats milk and hatred of women, all women, says that anyone who wants to worship him can do so, though from afar, and only if they pay.

John, best known for his homosexuality and 'love' of ethnic minorities denies he was ever called 'Reg'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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