Written by Rowdy
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Thursday, 24 June 2004

image for Ben Affleck Loses Poker Winnings By Playing Poker
"I'm so glad I won that tourney. I can honestly say that I needed the money the most due to my expensive lifestyle."

After winning, $347,689 at a recent California poker tournament, Affleck has lost all of his winnings in Las Vegas...playing poker.

Affleck: "What else was I going to do with it? At first, I was tempted to buy nearly a half million lottery tickets to overshadow J Lo's mom. But that was too risky, so I instead bet it all on one hand at a Vegas casino. I figured the odds were slightly better. And like they say, the more you bet on a hand, the better your odds of winning."

Affleck plans to enter an even larger poker tournament soon, thanks to his win in the recent one. Ben says he shall try to bring $2 Million worth of chips, even though everyone is supposed to start the tourney with $5K.

Affleck: "Why not? In real life, does everyone have the same amount of money? Of course not. At least I'm teaching a valuable lesson about money and how you should save it like I did. Now excuse me, as I have a $33,000 lap dance to attend to."

When asked about how she felt concerning Affleck's recent winnings, J-Lo only said, "Marc and I want to keep things private. Get the #$%# out."

When not playing poker, Affleck can be found doing the occasional big budget, box office bomb. Affleck's next feature film is Reindeer Games 2. It's unquestionably another bad idea as its release date is next May.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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