As Jade Goody, the ex-reality TV star, begins her 'final countdown' to obscurity, it was revealed by her publicist Max Cash today that her husband is to be buried with her, even though he is far from dead!
Jade wed Jack Tweed, or, indeed, Jack Tweedy - depending on whether you care or not - two weeks ago and uttered the fateful words:
"till def us do part."
Now, though, it has emerged that so strong is the bond between the two, that not even def (death) can separate them, and Jack will be buried alive with his cancer-stricken wife for all eternity in a titanium-cased grave.
Critics, however, have said the arrangement is a clever ploy to avoid jail, and that arch-criminal Jack will somehow 'dig his way out' of the tomb and make good his escape.
With this in mind, Jade's gravediggers have been asked to dig her plot to a record depth of nearly 30 feet, and to pile huge boulders on top of the site, to foil any potential break-out by Tweed.
It won't be long now.