Written by Roy Turse
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Wednesday, 11 March 2009

image for UK Eurovision Entry Lyrics Must Change
Jade is said to be confused and emotional following the ruling

The United Kingdom entry for the Eurovision Song Contest has been rejected unless the lyrics are changed. It comes in the wake of Georgia being faced with the same issue when their lyrics were deemed to contain political content that was offensive to another country.

In the UK's case, the lyrics concerned are the title lyrics of the song, plus the chorus and the verses. The complainant, a Mr Lloyd-Webber, claims that the words are 'a bit rubbish' when compared to the obvious brilliance of the musical composition.

Now the UK contestant, Jade Ewan, will be forced to learn a second set of words to the soulful number, and is said to be worried that she will get confused on the night and sing the wrong ones. If she did sing the original words, or, in her confusion mentioned putting, pouting, pewter tin or pooh-chin she would be disqualified.

Meanwhile, a Mr T. Rice has postponed his current work to concentrate on the new lyrics. His new words are thought to be some of his best work. Just put to a new tune.

Verse

I've been down, drew back the curtain
To see for certain what I thought I knew
But those days are gone now
I closed my eyes,
Far far away, someone was weeping
But the world was sleeping
To show you any dream will do tonight

Chorus

It's my time, it's my time
So give me my coloured coat
My time, it's my time
My amazing coloured coat
There's nothing I'm afraid of
Give me my coloured coat
Because heaven knows it's my time now

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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