Written by Bureau
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Topics: Amy Winehouse

Tuesday, 10 March 2009

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Amy Winehouse Won't Sing At Coachella Festival

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Coachella Festival

A spokesman for Amy Winehouse says the singer won't perform in the United States next month, as had been planned.

Attorney Chris Goodman said Monday that Winehouse isn't going to the Coachella festival in Indio, Calif., in "light of current legal issues."

"Indio,?" interrupted Winehouse. "I think that house I bought was in India! You know, the one with the single bulb. I'm becoming eco..ecco. whatever."

Winehouse was charged with assault last week for allegedly attacking a fan at a London party last year. The singer is due in court next week during the Festival.

"I'm almost sure it was a house and it was a prefab, in INDIA!"

Being charged with a crime often makes it difficult for people to get U.S. visas and Winehouse's battles with addiction and frequent run-ins with the law have been highly publicized.

"Prefab...is that like, pre-rehab or something?"

"Let's let me do the talking", stated Winehouse's attorney. "That's what you're paying me for."

"You know what, I'm up to 82 pounds. Ass out to here...there!"

Last year, the U.S. government declined to give her a visa to attend the Grammy awards. The decision was reversed but too late for her to go.

"How are we getting to India? My last house was robbed or stolen."

Asked how her house could have been stolen, Winehouse's Attorney Goodman shushed her up and helped her outside.

"THEY JUST HOOKED IT UP TO THEIR TRUCK!!". Winehouse managed to yell as she went out the door.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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