Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 9 March 2009

image for Kate Beckinsale And Cristiano Ronaldo Jump On The Below Decks Bandwagon
This Is Not Monkey Woods

Kate Beckinsale, the sultry temptress star of Van Helsing and the Underworld movies was joined by Manchester United midfielder Cristiano Ronaldo at a Manchester hotel to announce that they should be considered for roles in Steven Spielberg's upcoming epic movie 'Below Decks', based on an original idea by thespoof.com writer Morse.

"This is the hottest ticket in Tinseltown," Beckinsale told us. "I've heard it said that Keira Knightley is a hot favourite for the part of Dora Piebottom, but I'd be much more suitable. Keira's a lovely girl, but hey, she's nowhere near as hot as I am. She's got a pretty face but sadly she's a bit too skinny. I'd make for a much hornier Dora Piebottom. My ass is my biggest asset. Think it over Spielberg and don't be a mug."

Cristiano Ronaldo added:

"And I should play the part of El Capitano Morse. I have the necessary deportment and air of casual arrogance that the role demands. Also, if the part demands that the capitano plunge from the decks into the briny, then I'm your man. I am an accomplished diver."

Spielberg is reportedly considering his options.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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