Written by carlito
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Topics: Amy Winehouse

Saturday, 7 March 2009

image for Amy Winehouse to return 'home'
Winehouse in Jamaica

Amy Winehouse has announced she intends to live on a kibbutz in Israel when she finishes her 12 year sabbatical in the Caribbean.

The singer has gone to the Caribbean to get as far away as possible from drugs - the islands are drug free - and it seems she wont return to the UK at all.

Her momma, BT worker Maureen Lipman and poppa, clothes shop assistant Phillip Green issued a joint statement in which they said their princess was like so many before her seeking a place of refuge in 'the ultimate place of refuge'.

It is not know if the professional drug addict and part time backing vocalist is contemplating an assault on the Israeli charts as the countries prime cassette buying demographic prefers to buy LP's of electro-synth-pop as sung by transsexuals and 12" remixes of Hebrew chants. Winehouse and her advisors do not know where plagiarized soul will fit in to the competitive charts.

The added bonus of moving to Israel is the fact her estranged Husband and breadwinner Blake Fielder-Civil would not be able to follow her to the Land of the Chosen as he would be unlikely to gain the necessary visa to enter even as a tourist.

It has been found that he is on the Mossad blacklist having texted in his vote to keep George Galloway in the Celebrity Big Brother house back in 2006.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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