Written by John Breneman
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Topics: Texas, Speeding

Tuesday, 22 June 2004

image for Speed Racer nailed for speeding

Speed Racer was arrested on Route 66 near Amarillo, Texas, for travelling 270 mph in a 25 mph zone. The animated racer hero was cited for speeding, aggravated speeding and speeding with the intent to speed. He was also charged with possession of speed, interstate transportation of speed and speeding with the intent to distribute speed.

Mr. Racer was apprehended after sailing his famous Mach 5 over a small canyon, a railroad yard and a saloon, where several dozen crashed-up patrol cars finally corralled him. The speeding ticket was the 17th this year for Mr. Racer, who has racked up 2,581 moving violations for habitual speeding since he raced onto the cartoon scene in 1967.

Spritle Barrister, attorney for Mr. Racer, told the Humor Gazette his client was framed in an "arbitrary and capricious speed trap travesty of traditional American redneck good-old-boy justice." Legal analysts say they expect a speedy trial.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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