Written by Mister Meaner
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Topics: Jade Goody

Thursday, 26 February 2009

image for Jade Goody To Have State Funeral
Preparations already under way

Jade Goody, the former Big Brother contestant who has recently captured the hearts of the nation with her cancer-suffering, will be given a state funeral after her death.

The body of bald-headed Jade, who was married to a criminal this week, will be left lying in a state for two days before being placed in a special steel coffin, and thrown into a hole 400 feet deep on a slag heap in Essex.

Before that, however, fans will be able to troop past her decomposing corpse, and to heap whatever they feel she deserves upon her, be it flowers or dog turd.

Once she has been 'buried', the tomb will be sealed by a giant titanium steel lid, and the entire site will then be overplanted immediately with grass seeds, so that it might never happen again.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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