Hollywood is bracing itself for a flood of British films after the success of Kate Winslet and 'Slumdog Millionaire' in the Oscars this week, as US audiences turn their backs on multi-million dollar spectaculars with special effects, star actors and stories.
'The American public these days want slow-moving costume dramas set in English country houses either in the early 1800's or the 1930's, with Helen Mirren and Judy Dench, and light comedies set in Hampstead with Hugh Grant as a forgetful explorer in love', said a clearly frustrated Steven Spielberg this week. 'We just can't compete'.
Under production are sure-fire Oscar winners for 2010, 'Leave my shed alone!', with Helena Bonham-Carter and Roger Moore (old gardener realises he's bitten off more than he can chew when feisty neighbour starts growing prize vegetables in her allotment) and 'Beagle-The Charles Darwin Story' with (that really thin actress off Pirates 3?) and Timothy Spall.
There will be the new James Bond 'Inexorable Sybyrate Apotheosis' with filming to take place in South Africa, Seville, Scotland, Florida and The Bahamas, and 'Gail..My Struggle', the story of the cruel upbringing of 2009's star of 'University Challenge'.
(Ed; keep this story and recycle every 5 years).