Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 18 March 2009

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Shoplifters of the world, unite and take over....

Police in Greater Manchester have today raided the home of former Smiths frontman, Morrissey, and conducted a thorough search of his wardrobe, due to a ridiculous claim the morbid crooner made in one of his songs, that he was 'without clothing'.

In the song, This Charming Man, Morrissey moans:

"I would go out tonight, but I haven't got a stitch to wear..."

Officers from Chorlton Police visted Mr Morrissey's property just before dawn and forced their way into his bedroom, where they ripped the wardrobe door off its hinges to examine the contents.

To their horror, they discovered the cheap MFI-built cupboard to be completely empty of any kind of clothing, thus proving the miserable Manc moaner had been telling the truth.

Sergeant Bill Truncheon told reporters:

"Who woulda thought it, eh? The miserable miser!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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