Written by IainB
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Tuesday, 17 February 2009

image for Demi Moore now "Too Ugly" to strip
First to go, is Moore's hair legs.

Demi Moore has received some shocking news from her agent, Frank Telling. Telling has told her the reason she has been rebuffed from several parts that she auditioned for in recent months.

"Basically," said Misty Morning, Telling's assistant, "she has been applying for roles that involve her getting naked, and the producers think that she is now too ugly to get her clothes off."

Moore is said to be devastated by the news.

"Demi has built a career on getting her kit off," said Morning. "Receiving the news that she can no longer be naked on screen is a major blow to her career path."

Industry insiders have speculated that Moore's children have left their mark on her torso, and that she has let herself go, somewhat, including being too old at forty-six, with hairy armpits and unshaven legs.

"Without being able to take her clothes off, there's not much left to Moore's career," said Morning.

Moore has returned to her home town of Roswell, where her hideous visage blends in well with the alien masks, and was unavailable for comment. A close personal friend told Hollywood Celebrity magazine that Moore is considering plastic surgery to regain her lithe body so that she can continue to do what she does best: strip on film. Tastefully, naturally.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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