Britney Spears announced this morning that she was inviting all the nation's top brains in the entertainment field to Washington DC to do "something about this money mess we're in".
"I thought one time lately that if the country runs out of money, who will pay me? I mean, us. Who will buy the tickets to the shows and who will buy the records and who will buy tickets to the shows...did I mention records?
"I'm relying heavily on Mr. Hasselhoff. I mean, like with a name like Hasselhoff, you gotta know some things, right? But he hasn't got back to me yet.
"Also, I've yet to hear from John Candy or Chris Farley.
"But already committed, or have been at one time or another, are Britney Spears..that's me..and Lindsay Lohan and Michael Jackson. There's Nicole Ritchie. Let me think. Oh, now I remember. It's on a piece of paper in my pocket.
"There's a new pair of shoes from....wait a minute. Here it is. There's Jessica Simpson, Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton.
"They will all be here in about a week sometimes and we're going to get this doggone ecomological thing worked out all by ourself."