Rumors abound about a squirrel woman and her insatiable appetite for collecting men's nuts. Hospitals are reporting an unusual number of balless males appearing in emergency rooms hysterically screaming about their missing testicles and one or another tales about a squirrel woman.
Jose RancheroSinHuevos said that he was taking a leisurely stroll in Central Park when a squirrel like creature approached him. Before he knew it the bushy tailed rodent woman had made off with his balls.
Testicle thefts have been reported in dozens of major cities and suburbs and rural areas. The Modus operandi all sound the same according to ball dick, Dick Balls:
"Time and again from LA to Chicago to NYC ya gotcha bushy tailed rodent, the guys with and den witout der balls and the subsequent scampering escape up a tree, followed by a visit to the ER and lots of weepin and gnashin a teeth.