Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 16 February 2009

image for Jack Nicholson To Portray President George W. Bush
Shown are Steve Martin and Jack Nicholson who will portray Senator John McCain and President George Bush

MALIBU BEACH, California - Jack Nicholson has just been signed to star in the 20th Century Fox movie, "The Emperor Wore Cowboy Boots."

The film traces the story of George W. Bush from conception until the time he lands back in Texas after leaving the White House.

The producers say that the movie will surprise a lot of people. The movie script was written by Chad Dershowitz, 19, and his ex-wife Miranda Dogwood, 43.

Dershowitz won a Pulitzer Prize for his book, "The Totally Timely Trickery Tricks of Tricky Dicky." Dogwood is now married to Houston Astros bullpen catcher Hakim 'Choo Choo' Basketmaker.

The producers of the film say that the viewers will see a side of President Bush that hardly anyone ever saw or was even aware of.

For example, Bush had a tremendous candy fetish for M & M's. A former White House aide, Millicent Ichikawa, 57, says that Bush would sometimes spend as much as three hours sorting out a five-pound bag of M & M's by color.

He would then eat them all; the brown ones first followed by the greens, the oranges, the yellows, the blues, and the reds last.

Another thing that no one knows about the former president is that he has an addiction to sports gambling.

His mom told Barbara Walters in the strictest of confidence that her son took the Arizona Cardinals and 9 points in the recent Super Bowl game and he won $750,000.

Mrs. Bush also stated that her son cannot stand comedian Carlos Mencia and that he tried to have him deported back to Honduras on four different occasions.

The movie will also star Glenn Close as Laura Bush. Halle Berry has been cast in the role of Condoleezza Rice. And Dick Cheney will portray Donald Rumsfeld and Donald Rumsfeld will portray Dick Cheney.

The Bush twins, Barbara and Jenna will be portrayed by Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. And Steve Martin who is 89, will star as 93-year-old Senator John McCain.

The role of Barbara Walters has not been cast yet. But producers are reportedly considering Kathie Lee Gifford, Samantha Ronson, Barbara Walters, and Madonna.

The film will be rated 'R' due to explicit language, explicit arrogance, and explicit sarcasm.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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