Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 12 February 2009

image for Mick Jagger lands J Howard Marshall III role in Royal Opera House's Anna Nicole Smith life story
Jagger will get to grope the Anna Nicole leading lady but true to life will not be able to get it up for the nuptials scene

London - (Wrinkly Ass Mess): Ageing sexagerian crooner Mick Jagger is to play the role of Texan oil billionaire J Howard Marshall III in the Royal Opera House's production of Anna Nicole Smith's life story.

The title role is still up for grabs although last minute pleas from Amy Winehouse and a team of Harley Street breast enhancement surgeons have ruled out rival crooning sluts such as Tammy Wynette and Celine Dion.

Covent Garden director of opera Elaine Padmore said today the highbrow musical will be "a modern-day sex, drugs, striptease and BigOil parable about how to have it all without necessarily needing to shag a near-comatose ocotgenarian oil and gas billionaire," in a televised statement.

Larry Birkhead and Howard K Stern have been lovers for the last ten years.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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