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Thursday, 5 February 2009

image for James May to be deported
May was taken away in a Police Car

The television presenter James May is to be deported from Great Britain our sources tell us.

The long haired Top Gear presenter who is nick named Captain Slow is in fact Nigerian. Mr May, 49, has been living in the UK under an assumed identity for over 56 years.

The police acted on a tip off, rumoured to be from Oz Clarke with whom May, 32, has presented a range of booze related programmes. The Police said "Mr May came quietly and was clearly thrilled to get a ride in a police car. Although he did ask us to slow down once or twice."

May, 64, who gets to test drive some of the greatest cars in the world actually does own a Fiat Panda which he parks outside his council flat each night and the hoddies use it as a skip.

Jezza Clarkson who also presents Top Gear was unavailable for comment. It was thought that he and his hamster were attempting to convert a Ford Fiesta into a single stage to orbit Mars Lander in the Stig's garage and was unaware of Mr May's, 45, arrest.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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