Written by IainB
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Friday, 30 January 2009

image for Bill Oddie Abandons baby birds
Eagle-Eyed viewers will recognise this as a hawk

The world's most famous twitcher and beard wearer, Bill Oddie, has announced that he will not be presenting the next series of the BBC's little watched program Springwatch, and the search is on for a replacement.

"At first it was a lark, but lately I felt I was getting pigeon-holed," groused the former Goodie, Oddie. "I felt like a tit trying to make people swallow the garbage I was coming out with. I couldn't duck the issue any more, and I have decided to swan off to pastures new."

The BBC were disappointed at Oddie's decision to quit the show, leaving fellow presenter Katie Humble in the lurch. However, they have wasted no time in interviewing potential replacements for Oddie. Names that have been put forward are former Housemartin and redhead, Paul Heaton, former Spice Girl, Emma Buntin and the world's second most famous ornithologist, Rory McGrath (who has the added advantage of being cheep). Richard Wilson, most recently on our screens in Merlin, has also been considered.

"We don't want people to say we just dove in a picked the first name," said Jay Plover, head of light entertainment. "We need to consider our options carefully. The correct candidate needs a knowledge of birds, and has to be a bit of a night owl. We do need to be swift about appointing somebody, though. We may appoint a previously unheard of starling."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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