Written by rfreed
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Friday, 30 January 2009

image for Bill Gates Starts New Philanthropy to Aid Computer Businesses Crushed By Microsoft
"My Precious!! Where is my Precious? You evil Hobbitses!"

Bill Gates Foundation has announced a new philanthropic cause- to help computer companies crushed by Microsoft. Making Microsoft into the virtual monopoly that it is in the computer world entailed upending many smaller competitors along the way by undercutting prices, demanding exclusive contracts with business partners, buying out competitors and any number of other dirty tricks.

Many companies were forced out of business or swallowed whole by Gate's Microsoft.

Gates, now retired from Microsoft and just skimming off money from it as he needs it, sees the enterprise as a worthy charity. Using the same statement he made when referring to starving Africans he said "This is my new mission in life!"

John Harddrive, former CEO of Floppy Computers and now a resident of the Seattle homeless shelter says " Its nice he is helping us now. Of course, if he hadn't stolen our ideas he wouldn't have the money to give back to us now!"

Susanne Webcrawler, ex-executive of Integrated Systems and now a Pikes Market prostitute says, "Yeah, great. He also leaves me an extra 20 when I dress up like that Japanese virtual girl they created and service him."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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