Written by matwil
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Tuesday, 27 January 2009

image for 'Bring back Bush!', writers demand
The writing world in mourning, at the disappearance of George W. Bush

Today satirists and spoof writers, and lots of people with nothing better to do, demanded that George W. Bush be brought back on to the world stage.

'We demand it', one writer demanded, 'if it's not too demanding. Without the 'Shrub' we've lost a fund of hilarious comedy and satirical ideas. Couldn't he be made UN envoy, or something, just to keep him in the news? You know, like that clown Tony Blair, or legendary gaffmeisters Jimmy Carter and Prince Phillip. Obama just bores the pants off everyone, and we've got four more years of his childish drivel to sleep through. Bring back Bush!'

But US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton had this to say about the idea. 'I'm sorry, but the United States can no longer afford to have its leading politicians being made fun of by the rest of the world. Nor can it have ones that have about as much idea about the real world as a brain-dead cauliflower. Duck! Another sniper's in the garden!'

And President O'Bama himself added: 'Sure, we've all lost a great source of satire, and, I think, comic genius in his own retarded, alcoholic chimpanzee way. But America has moved on today, a day we can all, without sounding like I'm summing up for the defense, say that this was the day when the United States put out its hand to the Muslim world and said 'That'll be 132,000 dollars for the interview please, not including expenses and my wife's 8-course lunch fees.' Thank you.'

But the ex-President himself managed to lighten up the writers' mood, by saying this: 'Friends, Romanians, countrymens, I come to praise Senator Blacker O'Hara, not to make him vanish like an Iraqer weapon of mass destruction. The good in omens is often buried at sunset, with the vampires still in them, and I sure as heck miss being the President of my Dad's office, doing what I didn't do best - putting golf balls into Jack Daniel's whiskey glasses.'

'I'd like to meet Jack, and tell him - 'Mr. Jacks, you make one hell of a good drink to drink, it's what made American great, along with prezl - prezet - them kraut snacks I can never get the hang of eatin'.' But good luck to the new President, with Hillary as his number two he's sure going to need it! Laura, where did you put my Lego? Is it in Legoland?'

It's unlikely that the new President will replace Mr. Bush as such great comedy material, but Prince Phillip is still around to keep the humour going. 'I'm surprised the Americans found anyone that could stay sober long enough to be President - oops, they didn't. See ya, George!'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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