The bulldog that has appeared in Churchill insurance television adverts for years has been put down.
Its owner, Mr. Victor Reeves, said:'Yes, I had to do it. For many years Churchill was Britain's favourite dog, bringing a smile to people's faces during long, boring advert breaks with lots of surreal sketches, and of course barking his famous 'Oh yes!' catchbark.'
'But recently the fun had gone, the jokes had dried up, and it all become so dull and predictable that non-celebrities were brought in to try and cover up the repetitive unfunny ads - you know, like that bloke with the wig and the funny voice that used to be in Songs of Catchpraise. Roy Lineker, that's it.'
Many were saddened at the dog's demise, and fellow animal star Tony the Tiger said: 'Well, it had to happen. For years I was popular and funny, but then I started to get old and boring and started repeating myself, and no-one wanted me on TV any more or even cared who I was. So finally I became a Labour cabinet minister.'
And from Hollywoof, Lassie added: 'What's that, Churchill? You weren't funny any more, and people were actually turning the TV over when you came on? So you had to be got rid of? I just changed my name to Hillary Clinton, and the work started pouring in again.'
When Queen Elizabeth the Second was asked if there would be a state funeral for the once-funny dog, she said: 'Oh no!'