Written by Jalapenoman
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Thursday, 22 January 2009

image for Rosie O'Donell Breaks Roseanne Barr's Record
Rosie is a new record holder

Rosie O'Donnell has now entered the Guiness Book or World Records and other history books as she has broken a record held previously by Roseanne Barr. The former talk show host and now militant lesbian is now responsible for more derections than anyone else in the history of television or movies.

The derection is the opposite of an erection. In this state, the penis shrinks up and is actually drawn into the body. This is generally caused by fear or the total sexual turn off towards an individual.

Barr took the record from Mama Cass Eliot (of the Mamas and the Papas singing group) the second year of her television show and has held it proudly until this month.

Historically, the all time, non-media related record still belongs to Russian Czar Katherine the Great, who could make men's testicles shrink just by thinking about them.

The largest derection ever recorded took place when Bargis Tryhol, known as the man with the world's largest penis, was forced to watch a rerun of the view where O'Donnell actually interviewed Barr and Richard Simmons.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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