Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 26 January 2009

image for Man Becomes Addicted To 'Bargain Hunt'
Let's see what the auctioneer thinks...

A man is in intensive care tonight, after his wife contacted the emergency services when it became clear that he had become addicted to Bargain Hunt.

It's the BBC show, fronted by Tim Oneoclock, which entrusts two teams of pairs with £300, and sends them to a Car Boot Sale or Antique Room to purchase 3 items of rubbish, with the intention of making a profit when they then endeavour to sell that same rubbish at Auction a month later.

Pete Grimsdyke, from Hull, started watching the show after he became unemployed three years ago, and he's been looking in every day since. He's now something of an expert, as his wife, Debbie, explains:

"He says it's very educational. He never stops going on about Beswick, Royal Doulton, Clarice Cliff, Waterford Crystal, Bonus Buy and Leftover Lolly. Oh, it's all become too much!"

Mr Grimsdyke was whisked away to Hull Royal Infirmary for tests, and was later said to be in 'a thrifty mood', although his condition was not thought to be life-threatening.

Told of the situation, Mr Oneoclock, who became the show's host only after its previous incumbent, David 'Cheap As Chips' Dickinson, was involved in an unsavoury incident with a lead pipe, said:

"Astonishing! For the viewers at home though, let's see what the auctioneer thinks!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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