Written by Funky Frog
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Tuesday, 20 January 2009

image for Telescope Nightmare for Queen Star
It wasn't quite this large.

Queen guitarist Brian May was yesterday left needing surgery after becoming impaled on a large telescope.

May 62, a Doctor of Science, was partying with pals when the incident occurred. A neighbour, Donald Pewson, 85 said "I heard shouting and laughing coming from the rear of the property, it grew louder so I decided to perambulate and investigate further, it was then- I saw it all"

Police and Ambulance crews were called to the scene where they found the curly haired star precariously balanced on a wooden garden table with the large telescope stuck in his rear end.

Mr May's management confirmed that a male living at the address had been discovered intoxicated but would not confirm that it was Mr May, or that a telescope was involved. They also refused to comment but sources close to TheSpoof.com say technicians from a telescope cleaning company were seen entering the property the next day.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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