Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Music, Beatles

Tuesday, 20 January 2009

image for The Beatles Remixed Band
Sir Paul McCartney playing in the new band, The Beatles Remixed Band

MANHATTAN, New York - Ryan Seacrest has just confirmed reports that Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, and John Lennon's widow, Yoko Ono have in fact formed a band.

The three will be joined by John Lennon's son from Cynthia Lennon, Julian, and his son from Yoko Ono Sean.

Ringo Starr's son Zak and George Harrison's son Dhani will also be in the newly formed band.

Paul said that the idea for the band was first presented to him by Rosetta Kayleen Bittbrew, 93, who lives in Liverpool, England. Mrs. Bittbrew used to babysit young Paul when he was three-years-old.

Mrs. Bittbrew became the very first president of the Beatles fan club. After marrying Basil Bittbrew, she gave birth to quadruplets which she named, John, Paul, George, and Ringolynn (a girl).

Paul, Ringo, and Yoko spent a month secluded down in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico where they wrote ten songs which will appear on the band's first album tentatively titled, 'The Beatle Cocoon Emerges.'


Eleanor Rigby's Granddaughter
The Long And Winding Love Handles
Lucy In The Stained Glass Sky With Rubies
Norwegian Woodpecker
Strawberry Fields Daiquiri
When I'm Eighty-Four
Hey Judge
Band On The Runway
A Hard Day's Night (The Viagra Theme)
Penny And Lois Lane

'The Beatles Remixed Band' will go into Applesauce Recording Studio in March and then in June they will begin a 67-city tour throughout the United States and Canada.

The tour will be sponsored in part by Rogaine; Mrs. Paul's Seafood Products; The Liverpool, England Chamber of Commerce; Osaka A&M University; and Prince Mustafa Mustafelli of Saudi Arabia and his 17 wives.

A large portion of the income from the tour will go towards The BeatlesLand Foundation, which will build a Beatles Museum in Tarzana, California.

In related news. Paul McCartney and Yoko Ono have given the newly appointed Secretary of Music Bruce Springsteen full permission to use the Beatle song 'Michelle' as First Lady Michelle Obama's official theme song.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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