Written by Bureau
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Topics: Star Trek

Wednesday, 14 January 2009

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"Procede at warped seven"

Just how sexy will the new Star Trek movie be? Chris Pine, the film's star had hinted not too long ago that the upcoming version of the outer-space franchise has been "sexed up for the new generation." However, now he wants everyone to know that the Starship Enterprise hasn't been turned into an intergalactic flying flophouse, either.

Pine, who stars as Captain Kirk in the new Trek flick, said he shares several hot scenes with Rachel Nichols. He also predicted a scene in which Zoe Saldana takes off her shirt will "become famous. But more recently, he's toned down his story a bit.

"It definitely isn't you mother's Star Trek, but there's no xxx sex scene," Pine told members of the press at a Beverly Hills poolside party. "There may be some bare navels, but you know it's been a long time since the string bikini was invented, so I don't think we're going to ruffle any feathers....outside of that one alien Hen-Party scene."

"Of course the big and stupid alien Dickheads are something, but you only see them attack by the use of shadows. They're a peaceful race until Dole The Ferengi sells them some futuristic purple pills.

"Then there are the four-breasted Amazonians featured in one or two encounters."

"Also there's a scene Spock calls "interesting" when Sulu has to be helped from the holodeck because he's been in there three days and can't walk."

"And then there's the...well, go see the movie."

The movie is scheduled to come out in May.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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