Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 12 January 2009

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The Way Amy Winehouse Views Her fellow Guests

St Lucia, the Caribbean - Troubled diva Amy Winehouse has been seen here at her exclusive resort hideaway chugging on strawberry daiquiris like there's no tomorrow, and frequently ducking into the undergrowth with new squeeze 'Josh' for a series of spontaneous bonks.

Winehouse claims to be currently drug free but has been in a drunken and unkempt state state since her arrival here in paradise.

Fellow vacationers have reacted with horror to Winehouse's drunken behaviour, which involves inebriated renditions of the song 'Puppy Love' and failure to wear shoes for dinner.

Winehouse has also lost the trademark beehive hairdo.

"She may have lost the trademark beehive hairdo," a honeymooner from Barnsley told us, "but she's still the same old Amy."

Incarcerated husband and alleged 'hopeless junkie' Blake Fielder-Civil has reportedly filed for divorce from the daughter of a London cabby.

We last saw Winehouse stumbling around the cocktail bar, pissed as a fart, scrounging fags off fellow guests, and taking over the piano to give drunken renditions of 'Puppy Love' and 'I Feel Fine'.

"She gets right on my tits," said a woman from Macclesfield.

More as we get it.

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