Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 10 January 2009

image for Celebrity Big Brother Tina Breaks World Swearing Record

Celebrity Big Brother Tina Malone became the toast of Channel 4 tonight after she covered herself in glory by breaking the world record for repeatedly saying the F-word.

Malone, the 21-stone walrus from Liverpool, was clocked at having uttered the F-word, or one of its variants, no less than 4,293 times during Saturday, topping her previous best of 4,104 on Friday.

Malone uses various forms of the F-word, including fucking, fucken, fuchen and fuched!, and often deploys the forms several times in the same sentence. She really is a champion swearer.

The Shameless star, who regards herself as 'intelligent' - surely a contradiction - swears as a hobby, and appears to have cornered the market in on-screen profanities.

Fellow housemate, rapper Coolio, has already spoken to Malone about taking swearing lessons from the Scouse fatso, in preparation for his next album.

Coolio told Big Brother in the Dairy Room:

"This fat bitch sho' can cuss! Fat fuck!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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