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Friday, 9 January 2009

image for Newest Disneyland To Be In Washington, D.C.
Cheney Practises Terrorizing Little Kids In His New Career

It was announced that the latest theme park will be built in Washington, D.C. Washington was chosen because there is already a strong sense of living in a fantasy world there.

Spokesman Goofieson stated "We feel that people in the D.C. area are already living in a state of artificial reality, a world where terrorists are around every corner and WMD's are everywhere and where the good guys wear white hats and always win. This is especially true around the White House, a replica of which will be replacing the castle as the main building of the park."

"A lot of the retiring Bush administration have signed on as characters in the park. Dick Cheney is going to play either Captain Hook or Grumpy, depending on his mood of the day. Condleeza Rice will be the evil witch from Snow White. Karl Rove will play the Big Bad Wolf who blows the piggies houses down. George W will be playing himself because none of the characters we have could match his authenticity. He is very enthusiastic about it because he will be living in our White House and will feel as though he is still President."

Other possibilities we are considering for characters are Woody Allen as Wall-E, the robot, Al Gore as Doc, Mrs. Bush as Mary Poppins, and Ann Coulter as the evil witch from Sleeping Beauty (the nice thing being she won't need makeup). Bernie Madeoff will be introduced playing a new dwarf called 'Sleazy' and Rob Blagojevich's hair will play Aladdin's carpet. For a special feature we will be introducing Sarah Palin as Xena, the Princess Warrior.

To give the park a genuine D.C. feel, several special attractions will be added such as 'A Ride Through a Scary Neighborhood' and 'Pork Barrel Land'. New characters such as Crack Whore, Mr. M. the Drug Dealer and The Lobbyist will add to the warm, familiar faces kids already know and love.

When asked why they chose D.C. specifically Mr. Goofieson said "D.C. gives the impression of being a feudal state surrounded by vast lands of lesser beings which matches the way we in the Disneylands feel. Plus they have control of everything in the country and total control is something that has always appealed. The U.S. Government also has no competition, and a lack of competition we like a lot. Remember when Pixar was beating our butt? Not any more."

Construction will begin as soon as incidentals such as the Washington Monument, the Lincoln Memorial and the Smithsonian Museum can be demolished to make room and the ground cleared.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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