Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 7 January 2009

image for New Doctor Who Is A Young Child
John Pertwee

There was surprise amongst the millions of fans of Doctor Who this week as the identity of the new Doctor was revealed.

Several names had been thrown into the hat, amongst them James Nesbitt, David Morrissey and even Billie Piper, but the new face of Doctor Who is a young actor seemingly not long out of short pants.

Matt Smith, who is still at school, was selected for the part ahead of other more noted actors, principally for his youthful and quirky looks - he looks like a loon - and his barmy stuck-up hairstyle that so many young, quirky loons have these days.

His predecessor, David Tennant, said:

"Och, aye. Matt Smith is a little tearaway! He'll make a great doctor one o' these days!"

Smith, whose hobbies include squeezing zits, is set to start filming on the new series of Doctor Who as soon as he has got changed and finished doing his homework.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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