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Topics: Celebrities

Saturday, 3 January 2009

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"Wow! He said THAT?"

In the country of Kenya, it has been reported that there have been over 1,000 babies born with the name of Barack Obama given by the parents, at least three of them girls. Interestingly enough, the number one name for boys in both the states of North Carolina and Nevada is John Edwards Jr.

Sources reveal an overheard Bush comment to Obama on the Obamas White House visit: "Other than the economy, Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran, the gazillion deficit, North Korea, the crumbling infrastructure, our energy crisis, that thing in Brazil nobody knows about yet, Teddy Roosevelt charging through the White House at night, Gitmo, and global warming, is there anything else I need to fix before we leave?" "Good, when can you start?"

Hollywood sources say that K-Fed's new gal pal is volleyball player, Victoria Prince.

The former rapper, actor and husband of Britney Spears has been quietly dating the 6-foot volleyball player for a month or so.

"She's a real idiot' stated one of Victoria's friends, "but they're happy."

"She's really normal and low-key, a regular girl," says a source.

"Must be ten foot tall", stated another short one.

"Could snap his neck just like that (Snap)", stated one of Prince's volleyball teammates.

The pair has been spotted recently bowling, grabbing, grocery shopping and necking under a roulette table in Las Vegas.

Insiders say that a Hollywood actors strike might not be so bad. "Maybe it would allow the writers to finally come up with some plots", stated an unnamed actress from the series, "Lost".

It's being kept Hush-Hush but apparently Pope Benedict XVI was picked up and charged with DUI over the holidays. It was reported that the pontiff consumed some bad wine and was picked up in the popemobile doing 110 MPH.

San Francisco city officials are seeking more than $75,000 in reimbursement from a man attacked by an escaped tiger from the San Francisco Zoo. The officials claim the victim "Baited" the tiger by backing up and pissing on the front of a container wall.

Barack Obama says he wants both men and women to register for the draft in the future. Upon hearing this, the Bush twins both announced that they are going into the ministry.

Heather Locklear has copped a plea in her DUI case last week and won't serve any jail time. The actress was arrested in September in Santa Barbara. In exchange, Locklear will pay a fine, take a class and have pin-up pics made with over 20 cops and Santa Barbara officials.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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