Written by Dorry McGuire
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Sunday, 13 June 2004

image for Country Rocker Sheryl Crow Adopted
Sheryl Crow: "I'm really glad to have parents again. I never saw my mom but the 4 years of my life. It's great having a new family.&quo

Well, well!! Is there literally no age restriction to adoption these days? Those of you who thought you couldn't adopt someone over age 18 were wrong! It looks like our friend Sheryl Crow is back to tell us she has recently been adopted, but has chosen to keep her new parents anonymous.
"It was very nice of them, but the main reason they did this is because their teenage daughter wanted someone to hang out with that wasn't a jerk, like some of the people she's told me about in our family." said Crow, 42, who we thought was WAY over the limit when it comes to adoption.
Despite earlier this week when Sheryl came in with a tearstained face, bawling like a little kid about the rumor of her and Clay Aiken dating, she seems to be her normal self again. "I really didn't know why I was crying so hard that day. I mean, sure, I was upset about the rumor, but the drama got a little ridiculous, when I saw myself in The Spoof Headlines the very next day I was like 'Holy Cowell!! How did I get on here?' then I remembered my slimy interview that day. I swear they must've had to bring me a billion tissues!!" Laughs the bubbly Missouri-raised singer who hasn't been in a real family since 1966, when she was just four years old. "Yup, I was sent to live with my Dad and Grandma, I grew up with them, even though Granny was always discouraging me!!" Sheryl scowled playfully.
Sheryl Crow says she is very excited and can't wait to get to know her new family better. "Yep, the kiddo should be goin' to Grad Bash sometime next year. She's invited me to perform. I'm sure I'm gonna fulfil my biggest want in this family--All I wanna do, is have some fun!!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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