Written by Kozmik Ken
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Saturday, 3 January 2009

image for Simon's XXX Factor
Simon Cowell. Expects to make millions from porn.

Money making guru Simon Cowell plans to launch a new show in ITV's spring schedules to find Britain's newest porn star.

Cowell said yesterday, "Over several series of the X Factor, I have been amazed by the British public's readiness to prostitute themselves for a fleeting opportunity of fame. The XXX Factor is just the next logical progression of that concept."

The XXX Factor will follow the same successful format and feature auditions around Britain's major cities, from which forty contestants will be chosen to attend 'Porn Camp'. Here they will be put through their paces by a number of sex industry insiders and Danii Minogue. Twelve finalists will be chosen for the live show to face the public vote.

SImon continued, "I expect this new show to be hugely popular with the public and I am pleasantly surprised that ITV will be allowing it to be aired before the 9.00pm watershed. This proves that attitudes are changing towards pornography and it is becoming acceptable as all round family entertainment. Plus it gives me the opportunity to hoover up the country's last few remaining pockets of cash!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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