Written by Jalapenoman
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Saturday, 3 January 2009

image for Daniel Craig Voted Worst James Bond of All Times
Adults like him best.

Daniel Craig, the new James Bond actor who is loved and worshiped by all movie fans under the age of 16, was recently voted the worst James Bond by the vast majority of people in the English speaking world over the age of 25 (to include those under the age of 25 with IQs over 86).

Sean Connery, the actor who portrayed Bond in the first feature length film, Dr. No, was the overwhelming favorite in the role.

Others who have played the character include Roger Moore, Pierce Brosnan, George Lazenby, and Timothy Dalton.

Before Craig assumed the part, Lazenby had been universally hated as the worst Bond for his one portrayal in "In Her Majesty's Secret Service."

Edgar Fleming, great grandson of creator Ian Fleming, said that "Craig is just a muscle headed action hero who is playing Bond as a muscle headed action hero. This isn't grandpa's creation. The only demographic that likes him are the kids and the brain dead (which are often one and the same)."

Adults tended to answer the questions, "Who was the best Bond? and "Who is the worst Bond" with simple answers like "Connery was best and that new idiot Craig is the worst." Youngsters polled, however, responded with some of the following:

  • "The worst was that old dude and the best is that guy they got now, you know, Daniel Radcliffe."
  • "They had James Bond movies before Daniel Craig? Woah."
  • "James Bond is, like, so hot he should make out with Paris Hilton or something."
  • "I don't care who it is as long as lots of shit blows up and lots of people get shot and I get to see some titties."
  • "They should make a movie where James Bond has to fight aliens or put him in a horror movie like Saw VI or something."


Once again, the youth of the world have spoken.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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