The problems facing the Australian youth of today are well documented. Day after day we witness the highs & lows of the contestants on Australia's two biggest reality TV shows, 'Home & Away' & 'Neighbours'.
I'm here reporting undercover from Summer Bay on the new cult suicide threat developing in this Aussie backwater, where depression and scandal is the order of the day.
On arrival the first thing that stuck me is the Summer Bayians have little town pride -almost an inferiority complex; -constantly making comparison with the people, places, occurrences and things in nearby Yabby Creek.
'aw yeah that's the best restaurant this side of Yabby Creek mate'
'those waves mate, and that surf, it was Yabby Creek 96 all over again mate'
'aw sport I haven't had a banana smoothy that smooth and bananary since Yabby facking Creek mate'
'make no mistake he's a hoon mate, a prize hoon, and his mates a drongo. They're the biggest bludgers from here to Yabby Creek'
-were just a tiny fraction of the comments I overheared this morning on my visit to 'The Diner'
Something has gone wrong in Summer Bay. How did it come to this? Where is the traditional Aussie belief in oneself and ones hometown? How did the Summer Bay Metropolitan Development Corporation manage to lose so much investment, and development contracts to those corrupt bastards from Yabby Creek?
Or maybe Yabby Creek actually really is that good? Maybe the 'Creek really is THE greatest place on earth. With the biggest, best, smallest, worst, tastiest and most notable of anything/anyone/any occurrences ever happening; located and/or unfolding within the confines and borders of the Yabby Creek district.
As Australian Reality TV shows go, I think 'Home and Away' is one of the better ones. Though how Alf 'flaming gala' Stewart has not been voted off yet I will never know. Join me tommorow as I delve into Summer Bay underworld and get exclusive interviews with the depressed locals.
Next week I'll be off to Yabby Creek. If it really is as impressive at the residents of Summer Bay seem to imply... i can't wait to get there. . . .
Start spreading the news
I'm leaving today
I want to be a part of it,
Yabby Creek, Yabby Creek
These vagabond shoes
Are longing to stray
right to the very heart of it
Yabby Creek, Yabby Creek
I want to wake up in the city that never sleeps
To find I'm king of the hill, top of the heap
Theeeeeeeeeese little town blues
are melting away
I'll make a brand new start of it