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Sunday, 28 December 2008

image for Crocodile Hunter's Wife To Marry Bear
dickheads

The widow of legendary croc hunter Steve Irwin has revealed she's finally moved on from his tragic death after announcing her engagement to a seven foot grizzly bear named Norman.

"I'm very happy" claimed Terri Irwin during an in depth Oprah Winfrey interview "I met Norman some years ago when in Yellowstone Park filming one of Steve's shows" she said "we just were friends then but when I went back there to do more filming things just seemed to click between us"

Terri says she was swept off her feet by the five hundred pound giant who showed her the tenderness she'd long craved since her husband was taken from her by a giant sting ray.

"We went for long walks in the mountains and just talked about life and the strange ways that the pieces can sometimes fall into place.Then when I got hungry he'd go and swipe me a picnic basket"

During the probing Winfrey interview Terri revealed she thought she'd never find anyone to replace Steve until that fateful day she looked out from her tent and saw Norman eating out of a rubbish bin.

"That was when I knew" she said "Steve used to eat out of the rubbish bin sometimes just to keep in contact with his survival skills and when I saw Norman scooping out a claw full of cabbage it was simply love at first sight"

The couple plan to marry early in spring when Norman wakes up from his winter hibernation with a romantic European honeymoon to follow.

"Maybe a few days in Paris followed by a gondola trip around Venice" sighed Terri who hinted that she and the family might relocate from Australia to the US at Norman's request.

"Norman says it will be far to hot for him downunder and besides he thinks alot of Australians are dickheads" she said

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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