Written by Bureau
Print this
Topics: weight, star jones

Wednesday, 24 December 2008

image for Star Jones Regaining Weight But In Different Places

Friends say that Star Jones has packed on 35 more pounds - and sources say she's absolutely terrified the weight gain will drive away the man she hopes will change her life forever! Or, perhaps someone else who will change the rest of her life forever.

With her TV career slumping, the former "View" co-host is pinning her hopes for happiness on her new boyfriend, of all people, renowned chef Herb Wilson. But now she fears her new, fuller fuller fuller figure will jeopardize their future, according to insiders.

"Food is Herb's life, and Star loves to eat," a close family friend told a reporter. "I'm afraid one night she'll freak out and eat Herb. What if she rolls over and smothers him during the night? And her boobs are shocking! Have YOU seen her boobs lately?"

Star, 46, ballooned to more than 300 pounds before
undergoing gastric bypass surgery in August 2003.

"Since then she has been getting quite a bit smaller but it pushes everything up into her boobs", stated the friend.

"She's now a 48DD and she toppled over three times while we took a walk on the beach."

"But Star's boobs can hide her still good-sized belly and thighs and actually hide them from her."

"When she hit the beach during a girls-only getaway in the Caribbean recently, every time she turned she sent one of us flying", stated another friend.

Make Bureau's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 multiplied by 3?

4 23 20 6
44 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more