X-Factor judge, pop-songstress and footballer's wife Cheryl Cole announced that she has received a French letter in the post today.
Unable to comment on the identity of the sender, the young celebrity was said to be distraught, even thought the word sounded quite peculiar in her deep Newcastle accent.
Cheryl is actually head and shoulders above her peers because she is intelligent, witty and compassionate, although in fairness, while Girls Aloud may be pleasant, the next Beatles, Genesis, or Status Quo they are not, although they do bear an uncanny resemblance to Motorhead.
The starlet was said to be recouperating from the shock in her local branch of Harvey Nichols. Her husband, John Cole, the former BBC NI correspondant said that Cheryl was very upset to have received the French letter, because the sender obviously knew that she doesn't speak French.
"He just did this to annoy her, as my Cheryl likes to complete any task she sets herself, and learning French isn't on her radar at the moment. Whai Aye Man. Un-doy-tedly Moggie Thotcher."