It was revealed last night that the children of celebrity TV chef Nigella Lawson are fed up with their mother's cooking. Speaking on a rare interview on CBBC, Cosima Lawson (14) and Bruno (12) complained that life in the Lawson household was not like "other kids' lives" and was akin to some "ghastly Enid Blyton Book!"
Nigella Lawson has enjoyed celebrity status with tv programmes such as Nigella Bites and even bigger success with her cook books. However, it appears her children (from her first marriage with the late John Diamond) do not share her culinary tastes.
"It's bad enough she gave us these stupid names in the first place but we really just want to open up the fridge and find some Munch Bunch yoghurts and maybe some Kraft Cheese Singles instead of lemon scented tsatsiki or a piece of fermented bean curd" said Cosima whilst Bruno continued, "it's true. We've never had a normal meal. Everything we ever eat is adulterated with liberal helpings of things which aren't available in ever supermarket I've ever been in. We had chocolate pudding the other night and quite frankly it was ruined with generous sprinklings of vanilla pods and chocolate expresso beans -it's driving us nuts!"
Both children further complained that their mother's cooking was also having a detrimental effect on their school lives. "She makes us a packed lunch every day and we have to sit in the corner of the pack lunch room and eat ours with out anyone noticing. It's impossible to trade anything. I mean, let's face it, who's wanting to swap chicken nuggets for a tub of couscous with spicy falafels?".
Nigella Lawson was not available for comment.