Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 20 December 2008

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Strictly Come Dancing, the BBC dancing reality show plagued by controversy and cheating allegations during the past few weeks, has attempted to come clean with the viewing public, and has announced the results of tonight's showdown before the Live Grand Final has taken place, to avoid any further complaints.

Rachel Stevens, Lisa Snowdon and Tom Chambers have all made it through, thanks to a controversial scoring anomaly on last week's show. The BBC received over a dozen complaints from angry viewers.

Tonight's routines will include a Salsa, Rumba and Cha Cha Cha, while all three hopefuls will perform a foxtrot with their professional partners.

This lunchtime, however, the BBC updated its Strictly Come Dancing webpage to include tonight's results, which are as follows:

Rachel Stevens and her partner Vincent Simone scored 40 points out of 40 in the first round, and 40 out of 40 with their foxtrot.

Lisa Snowdon and Brendan Cole, brother of X Factor judge Cheryl, also achieved a maximum 40 out of 40 in both dances, which left only Holby City registrar, Tom Chambers, and his 'other half', Camilla Dallerup, needing maximum marks just to stay in the competition.

When Tom dropped Camilla during a particularly diffficult triple salco, the audience shrieked with horror, but when head judge Len Goodman invoked the Ignore Rule, which allows horrendous gaffes to be ignored so that the 'correct' person can win, the scores were all-square, and a dance-off was organised to make Tom the winner.

Ten minutes later, Chambers was crowned 2008 Strictly Come Cheating Champion, and how the audience screamed their approval.

Sixteen women fainted and twelve male fans threw their underpants onto the stage.

One pair came to rest on the head of host Bruce Forsyth.

For those who don't believe me, the action kicks off on BBC One at 1840, with the results at 2100.

John Sergeant finished second.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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