Written by Pointer
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Topics: doll, Barbie

Friday, 19 December 2008

image for Half a Century Barbie Checks into Hospital
Barbie and Ken's baby was born deformed because of Mattel's denial of pre natal plastic enhancing pills

As America's plastic beauty turned fifty, she experienced an episode that sent her to the Mattel General Hospital.

Having breasts the size of melons on an 18 inch body never seemed to bother Barbie. The most popular toy doll went about her business barbecuing, driving her toy sportscar to toy Malibu and screwing toy boy Ken whenever their eight year old perverted owners positioned them for humping.

But as any baby boomer toy will tell you, the times they are achangin'. Barbie was positioned in a very ordinary legs behind the head why don't I have genitals position, when the rubber bands that hold the legs in place began to give way. Unfortunately when the bands broke the legs propellered about and even the question of the missing pussy seemed inconsequential.

Since Mattel cancelled health insurance coverage after each doll is purchased and the 11 year old owner did not have her own policy, Barbie is being treated in one of America's worst slum hospitals. Luckily the Obama Presidency may save middle age Barbie unless the liberal president chooses once more to break his policy promises in the name of creating common ground with his enemies.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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