Written by Justin Owades
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Topics: Nicole Kidman

Wednesday, 17 December 2008

image for Nicole Kidman To Do More Things Only Men Are Supposed To Do
"I am especially looking forward to sex with a gay man" says Kidman

Fresh of her didgeridoo scandal, or "didgerigate" as it is being called, Nicole Kidman is looking forward to offending more people by doing things previously only done by men. She has already made arrangements to pee in a urinal, and is currently seeking companions for a "burping contest". She has seen Quantum of Solace nine times, but is telling everyone it was "just okay."

Nicole Kidman is in negotiations with a well-known Hollywood plastic surgeon about an "adam's apple implant," and is experimenting with rubbing rogaine on her face in an attempt to grow facial hair. Kidman is even trying to arrange a sexual encounter with a gay man (gay men are normally only attracted to other men - but Nicole is trying to break that taboo as well) but has so far been unsuccessful.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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