The editor and owner of The Spoof, an on-line humor/humour magazine based in England, has been arrested for contributing to the delinquency of a minor. The underaged victims of his alleged abuse include a 14 year old Nigerian boy known by the alias of "Henman" and three 16 year old English girls.
Lowton was removed from his apartment (which was found to be decorated with pictures of farm animals) and taken to Scotland Yard for interviews and interrogation.
Jesus Budda, self-alleged father of Henman, was asked how he felt about his son being victim of Lowton. His response was somewhat confusing to this reporter. "I think it's just lovely. It's all lovely, just like Christmas and pictures of the baby Jesus in a manger next to all that Donkey shit. I wonder if I can go in and play Jenga with Mark now."
Internationally known attorney Q. Mudder was quickly called to defend Mark Lowton. When asked about the charges, she responded with the following statement:
"The Spoof is a website for people of all ages. However, much of the material is strictly for adults. Apparently, Henman was exposed in his reading to stories about Britney Spears and her talking vagina, Miley Cyrus/Hanna Montana putting peanut butter on her breasts, turds, Barack Obama's affairs with Nancy Pelosi and Sarah Palin, and just a lot more stuff about every Hollywood starlet and their butts, boobs, and crotches."
Other minors included a trio of English girls who refused to have their names used (even though one was called Sophie Jayne). It was rumored, however, that their exposure to the site caused them to want to play naked twister with all of the writers on the site and do nasty things to the body of Daniel Radcliffe (their favorite topic for stories).
Charges of beastiality were pending, but were dropped when it was discovered that one of the animals in question was a woman known only as "Cal's Sister." Cal Jennings was unavailable for comment, but loud noises were heard coming from the barn on his property.