Written by Jazzy T.
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Topics: Murder, Divorce

Friday, 11 June 2004

Rapper Eminem has been arrested for the murder of his wife, Kim Mathers. The two had been involved in an ugly divorce process.

Eminem, also known as Slim Shady, snuck into Kim's home with a long butcher's knife and snuck into her bedroom. With Kim asleep at the time, he slithered up to her bedside and stabbed her 57 times. Then he ran back to his home on Eight Mile Road, near Detroit.

Police were called to the scene the next day, and blood was recovered from Kim's body. When they linked the murder to Eminem, they arrested him and confiscated all of his weapons.

"It is a sad day when the greatest white rapper in the world has committed the worst crime ever," said mentor and close friend Dr. Dre. Another rapper, 50 Cent, has offered custody of Eminem's daughter Hailey.

Hailey Mathers is already excited about the idea of living in Queens. "I even got a new nickname for myself: Li'l Miss 50," she said.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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